Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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