when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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