Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
