I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
