you guys were way drunker than both of me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
