are you still at the devil's house?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
