remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize