Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize