We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
