u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
