I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
