i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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