nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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