Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
