I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
