I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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