Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
