that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize