Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I touched a dick in church today
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
