Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
