i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i wish my penis had a tongue
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize