my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
