i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
