I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
