just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
