my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
