I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
