How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
