i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
where am i from again
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
