the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
