problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize