You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
