i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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