Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
