found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
