I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you win again, gameday.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
