On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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