Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
