Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
