Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
