My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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