i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize