is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
