My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
