Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize