The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
