i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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