dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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