I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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