I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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