Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
