You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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