We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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