i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
