Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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