thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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