Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
