we made out on top of his cat.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
