I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
