when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
