your parents love me but you hate me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
