She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
