i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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