i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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