For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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