last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just tell him i said nine months
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
