so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize