My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
