I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
