You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
